What’s the harm in a little gossip?

Never the one to be a brave, certified ‘gossip girl’, I always look forward to the times when I can catch up with the grapevine. There is no specific time for this kind of fun, but certain favourites prevail: at the end of the lunch hour/after long drawn out conference calls/lazy evenings after a hard home chores day/ after straight 12 hours of non-stop baby watching…

The attraction almost always lies in the mental titillation and ego-boost of being ‘one-up’ others. One-up those who are trying hard to hide something – “…Psst – everyday I see Amanda waiting for Prashanth for an hour till his shift finishes and she’s just got engaged to Rohit…” . “…And Mrs. Baweja, ‘woh Boutique wali’, did you hear how her son was caught driving at 70kmph in the colony?’. ‘Which one? the one with streaked hair?….shhsshh…”

Ah, and the extreme pleasure of being one-up those who are trying hard not to hide something. ” Did you get a look at our boss’s new BMW? He was so cheesed off coz we all gave it the royal ignore!”

So what’s the harm in a little gossip? In this dog eat dog world, it gives some comic relief and some justified venting of frustrations. “Gossip is survival networking man – you need to stay together to know what the top bosses are planning next” says a veteran of corporate power politics. “Gossip is literally my life-line” says a close friend who has to shift base every year thanks to a transferable job. “Whenever I shift, It takes a little time for me to get included, but after that I get to know everything from the do’s and don’t of my social circle, to the best schools and restaurants.”

The verdict is also long out on any gender bias in the tendency to gossip. Men gossip just as much as women and not necessarily on a different set of topics! So what’s the harm in a dash of gossip masala to spice up life?

Simply put, sharing information on issues is fine but talking behind someone’s back is monstrous. Usually we talk the truth, spiked with conversational vodka but it is on behaviour mostly taken out of context. Lest you think me too moral, spare a thought for entire industries which are thriving on gossip. Take leading newspapers for instance. In modern democracies, newspapers have had a historic role to play in nationalistic movements and despite the inroads by Television, stand for the educated, liberal and humane citizen of the world. But the paparazzi in the US and France is well notorious. And in India, many people will remember how a decade ago the TOI revolutionized sales by starting the film based magazine supplement, owing to which an entire generation is growing up in India reading about Sallu’s alleged violent streak, SRK’s ‘tryst with destiny’ and Khalid Mohammed’s take on the Big B’s acting, early in the morning. They are the saints of modern India (no offence to them personally, I like their work).

There is no one harmed, no one deluded in this gossip game except ourselves. For those little moments of high we righteously entertain thoughts of jealousy at someone’s success, feelings of superiority at another’s failure, sorrow for someone’s supposed grief and so on. And we loose precious moments of self-introspection and real peace. And it is well known that ‘those who gossip with you, will gossip of you‘. Sooner or later, in my experience, old gossip circles internalize and fall out with each other.

In conclusion, I would go totally with Albert Einstein who said, “If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.”

Why the hurry? And where to?

Hey guys n’ gals,
I have been away so long that you might have thought this blog died before living. Heck no, well yes… what I found out was that we all are actually more dead than alive, at least it goes for me very well.
Some good friends of mine survived a bad accident and showed their gratitude to God by quoting what their friends said of them, ‘You survived because you have never wished ill of anyone’. A very good principle I thought, only mildly disturbed by the negative phrasing. It has taken some jerking around of my assumptions to understand that even animals never wish ill of anyone. So why are we on top of the evolutionary chain? What should we be doing? How can we extend our selves; reach out to others, other life forms? Scientists can provide lot of data regarding brain size and brain size versus body size ratios etc. etc. to prove our evolutionary excellence. But in daily life I feel handicapped.

How can I help my neighbours? Water their plants when they are away? Baby sit occasionally? Frankly, not all that much. For everything I offer to do at my complete convenience, I expect the same in return, at my convenience! As for victims of the Jaipur blasts and the China earthquake, thank god, I don’t watch news anymore. Insensitive, cyclical repeats of the same bloodsplattered footage is not good family viewing!! What can I do from here? As it is, water shortage and electricity outage is more than I can cope with, this scorching summer.

Can I claim ‘I am a human being because I care’ or ‘I am a human being because I think’? How many times in my life have I been truly a human being? I wonder.

Dancing times! 2

In theme with my previous post, here is promising 13 year old Chinese ice figure skater.

Touching the ice at age 3, Bingwa was like “born” for figure skating. Her name in Chinese means “ice doll”. And she has a father who used to be hockey player. At her father’s request, she started to receive professional training of figure skating at age 6 and has had 10 years of experience on ice now. She trains 2 hours a day and 6 days a week. Yet she never thought training is a hard task to fullfil as she loved skating so much. Her idol is Yu-Na Kim.

Dancing times!

5 yrs to pre teens is the best age to pick up dancing. I am really impressed by this video. It is perhaps my first introduction to the Melattur style of Bharathanatyam. I have yet to understand the distinction  from the Thanjavur style apart from  the appealing laasya and full use of body bends. Do I detect some influence of Kuchipudi? Very agile & poised dancer.

Watch 11 yr old Harini Jeevitha’s arangetram clip (2006). She is the disciple of Chennai based Smt. Sheela Unnikrishan (Sri Devi Nrithyalaya)

Hello world!

As I walk down the street, I feel its narrowness, the little terraces crammed with activity. The toddler on her tricycle steering clear of all passersby. The old lady shooting up from her chair to hoarsely, eagerly chat to a patient ear. The arrogant smirk of youths on a bike. And yet, look at that pretty pink bloom in that majestic cactus perched high out of harm’s way! Hmm, good thought. But what a cliché. Be original my dear girl.

As I side step the pothole cover with a protruding iron grip, I think, aha, safely avoided potential headline status (‘Fatal accident averted – 30 year old, near diabetic woman rescued by unidentified youths’). Ugh, how horrible to become a statistic, in the end. But not all statistics are bad. We aspire to become one, especially as beginnings go. (‘Tulip Banerjee stands first in All India Medical Rankings’, ‘Miss Lovely (of ‘Fair & Lovely’) Complexion goes to ……’.

Focus, my dear, focus, I tell myself. Now what were you so upset about? Thorn in the rose about? No, thorn in the cactus. No, bloom in the cactus.. . oh get on with it. Life is all about balancing the yin & the yang in life. The rajas and the thamas. The darkness & the light. The positive and the negative. The expanding and the cohesive.

Balance it and then do something about it. Such as, such as… take this walk to be a positive force to healthy life. Stretch your legs, close your eyes, inhale and distend your tummy, exhale, not to forget, contract the said tummy. Move your butt. Move on to a trot.

The headline will now read, ‘30 year young, beautiful lady…’ yeech, I beginning to sound like a sorry matrimonial ad. But that’s life; balance it. Match the ad with an appropriate photo. Be a beauty in your own eyes. The eyes of the beholder are beyond your grasp. Set reasonable expectations from yourself. This is the all- too- common American shrink’s credo.

Hang on there. A little more sweat will make the mother proud. Don’t loose your balance. You are a slimmer you, so the streets are not so narrow after all and those youths on the bike get a superior, dismissive smile.

Now you know, it is all in the mind.